Cloud vs the Computer
by Mephyia
Summary: A little mini series of Cloud and his process of entering the world of Computers. Warnings: YAOI- SephirothxCloud, possible CloudxReno, CloudxHis hand, HENTAI- CloudxTifa, Language


Stepping into the new Age

A FF7 Fan Fic

Disclaimers: I don't own the Characters. Square-Enix does.

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"You want me to what…?" Cloud blinked as he stared at Tifa from his seat at the dinner table.

"Get a computer. A laptop to be specific. Something to help you on your deliveries." She nodded, pleased with her idea.

"I don't need a laptop. I have a phone." Cloud frowned.

"Yeah but you can easily keep your books up to-date instead of sitting at the bar every week, having Denzel help you with your math." She joked with a wink to the boy sitting in one of the other chairs. Denzel wisely kept quiet this conversation, eating his mac and cheese that Cloud made… or attempt of mac and cheese that Cloud made. Denzel knew Tifa was trying to get Cloud to open up to new things but cooking shouldn't be one of them.

"I can do math just fine." Cloud snapped. "And I don't need a fucking computer."

"Language!" Tifa threw her napkin at his head and glared.

"Like I haven't heard worse." Denzel mumbled as he lifted a spoon and watched it slowly gloop down back to the bowl.

"That's not the point." She shot the youngest a glare as to not play with his food.

"….You…. Don't have to eat that…" Cloud bit his lip as he watched what he made with Denzel.

"Thank the gods." Denzel pushed the bowl away with a sigh of relief.

"See Tifa. If I can't use the stove what makes you think I can use a computer?" Cloud sat back in his chair and crossed his arms sure he won this round.

"You used your phone don't you? That's more like a computer then the stove. Plus you and Denzel play video games." Cloud twitched as Tifa smiled smugly.

"No." The blond stood and grabbed his and Denzel's bowl and took it to the sink. "C'mon Denzel we're going for burgers."

"Score!" Denzel hopped up and ran to get his jacket.

"Yes. In fact I already bought you one." Tifa stood and took her own dish to the sink, once again visibly pleased with herself. Cloud twitched again and looked at her.

"…Seriously…? And if I don't-"

"You WILL use it Cloud. I already had all of your info put onto it. Dates, the books, destinations, all of it."

"….. You're cruel Tifa." He sighed and scratched the back of his head, conceding that he lost this fight.

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"How…. How do you turn it on…?" Cloud looked over the thin machine frowning.

"You have to open it first." Denzel suppressed a laugh as he reached over and opened the laptop for the blond. Cloud blinked and looked over the keyboard and other buttons. Slowly he reached and pressed the power button and waited.

"…. Now what…?"

"It has to load Cloud." The boy smirked and the man frowned.

"Why is it taking so long? Aren't these supposed to be fast or something?"

"You sound like an old man." Denzel joked and took the laptop from Cloud and set it in his lap. Cloud frowned more but watched what Denzel was doing. Sure enough the computer loaded and he stared trying to figure the damn thing out.

"Ok… now what do you do…?"

"Cloud have you never used a computer before?" Denzel looked at him and tilted his head, waiting for the answer.

"…… Shut up, so I'm computer retarded."

"Computer illiterate." Denzel corrected as his fingers started moving over the keyboard. Cloud blinked and watched trying to figure out what the boy was doing.

"Go slower."

"I'm going as slow as I can. Want me to narrate?" Denzel let a laugh escape as Cloud glared at him.

"Just give me the damn thing." Denzel shrugged and gave Cloud the laptop. The blond stared at the screen then touched the mouse touchpad and frowned when it wasn't moving the little arrow on the screen.

"Take off your gloves." Denzel held in a fit of snickers as Cloud grumbled and pulled off his left glove and resumed making the mouse move. "Aren't you right handed?"

"Both. Does it really matter? I'm making it move that's what counts."

"Well if you use your left hand you should change it over to left hand compatible." Denzel reached over to help change it and Cloud swatted his hand away.

"It's fine how it is. Don't confuse me with something else."

"Ok, ok. Geeze." Denzel got up and left Cloud's side and exited the small office. Once a good distance away he busted into a fit of laughter.

"I HEARD THAT!!"

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Cloud eyed the machine on his desk from his little cot. He had been playing with it all day and still didn't figure out what to do with it. He pressed one button, something opened and he couldn't get it to close, he pressed another and something popped up with a list of… something. So many somethings, so much he didn't know what to do with.

Who in their right mind would use one of these anyway? They're confusing and annoying. He was half tempted to make Tifa take it back but he couldn't find any of his papers (which usually were all over his desk and sometimes his floor.) or any of his books. He suspected she hid them to try and force him to use the computer.

It pissed him off really. Without his stuff, he didn't know if he had a delivery tomorrow or not. He vaguely recalled he did, but where was it and what time did he have to leave?

Frowning more he pulled the laptop off his desk and set it on his bed and eyed it, slightly hoping scaring it with a stare-down would make it work. The computer just stared back, winning the battle of wits, since its were infinite and Cloud's were only good until he got irritated. In frustration, He poked the screen with his finger then jumped when a folder opened.

"Touch screen… Ok I can handle that…" He grabbed his DS off his night stand and pulled out the little stylus. "Just like the game… Shouldn't be too hard."

Success. He was opening file after file and closing everything he opened with ease. Fuck using a mouse, this was much easier.

"Ah ha, found you." Cloud smirked as he opened a folder entitled 'Strife Delivery Service'. Victory was his as the window popped open and a list of files appeared. He touched 'Schedule' and waited for it to load then looked through. The week was open and he nodded to himself; the week gave him time to master this machine.

He blinked a little when a little box popped up on the bottom of the screen:

_Wireless Network Found. Connect?_

"Uh… Sure…?" Cloud clicked 'ok' and waited to see if anything happened.

Nothing.

"The hell..?" The blond frowned once again. Suddenly another box popped up asking him to set up an account. He read it over then did what needed to be done, making his user name as _TornWolf_.

Oh he understood now. The network was the internet and it was the bar's WiFi that he had connected with. Intrigued by this new freedom he opened up the web browser and played with it for about an hour.

Tifa came in a while later and smiled when she saw him staring at the screen.

"Having fun?" She asked. "See it wasn't a bad idea was it?"

"I found porn."

"… Cloud Strife!! Are you watching porn right now?!" Tifa put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"No. Right now I'm figuring out this thing that you did my books in. Excel or something?"

"Excel… yeah…" Tifa sighed in relief then shook her head.

"I was watching it earlier. You'd be amazed on what you can find on the internet." Cloud didn't look up but he didn't have to, to know that Tifa was glaring at him. "You bought it for me. I said no, remember?" Another sigh came from her and he knew he won this round.

"… What… did you look up..? Wait no, don't answer that, I don't want to know." Tifa raised up her hands and walked out, slightly regretting getting him the laptop now.

Cloud paused the movie he was watching and blinked at Tifa's leaving form. Shrugging and glad his little lie didn't get noticed, he turned back on the movie.

He had found a website that featured him oddly enough. It was pretty much animated but damn was it near convincing to be real. The video he was watching now was a solo. He had to admit it was weird watching 'himself' in a porno but at the same time it was interesting to see what others came up with.

After the video was over, he clicked on another, then another, until he had the whole site watched. His cheeks were pink and he fidgeted some, sort of turned on from it all. Turning off the laptop, he set it down on his desk and picked up his phone and flipped through the contact list until he found Reno's number. Cloud hit talk then held the phone to his ear.

"Why hello there, sexy." Reno's voice came out clear after the second ring. "Never thought you'd call me, yo."

"Tifa got me a laptop…"

"Oh really? So she is trying to get you out of the Stone-age huh? Welcome to the world of computers, Cloud!"

"I… I found porn…"

"…" Cloud pulled the phone away from his ear as Reno started laughing. He faintly heard Rude ask a question and Reno answered in between laughs "Cloud found porn!!"

"Ew!! Cloud that's gross!!" Cloud slapped his forehead when he heard Elena in the background as Rude's laughter joined Reno's.

"Shut up and let me finish." Cloud huffed slightly.

"Cloud?" Tseng's voice now came clear over the phone, Cloud figured it was because Reno couldn't control himself. "What do you mean you found porn?"

"If Reno had let me finished I wouldn't have sounded like a pervert… I found porn of myself on the internet." He heard a cough then Tseng mumbled something, Cloud could only assume he was covering up the receiver with his hand. There was even more laughter and Cloud suddenly regretted calling Reno. "Anyway, why I called is because I was wondering if something can be done about it…?"

"There is something that can be done about it. I will personally see fit that it gets taken down. By chance do you know the url?"

"The what..?"

"…Url… the address which identifies the website."

"HOLY FUCK CLOUD DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER AND HE FOUND PORN OF HIMSELF!!" Cloud glared as he heard the redhead's loud comment followed by more laughter.

"Why is this so funny?" Cloud snapped into the phone.

"I don't know… but Reno's on the ground and Rude is hunched over holding his stomach." Tseng cleared his throat again. "As I said, Cloud, I will personally take care of this." The line went dead and Cloud sighed.

Cloud did learn his computer lesson though, now that he thought about it. Don't google yourself.


End file.
